Fantasy

Longing

by leekierdorf

She stood on the beach and watched the sun sink into the sea. She was glad the sunset was so beautiful because she had seen so many.

But the sea was empty. There was no boat like the one that had sailed off last year.  That special boat. The one that took him away.

He had promised to return. Was she a fool to believe him? She didn’t feel like one. She felt that their bond was strong enough to bring him back.

She remember first seeing him. He was so different. Different clothes, different manners. She would just watch him. And then he met with the chief.

He was interested coconuts and wanted the people to collect and dry the insides of them. But the chief said he could not make the people do this unless they wanted to do it.

That’s why he stayed. He looked for a way to get our people to help him. He learned some of our language. She remembered the day he became happy that he had found a way.

He had told her that he had to leave to find a way to pay the people for their work. He had an idea.

She wondered what it was. Her people, the men, would sail away and return with large stones from a faraway island. Some died on the way. They would return proudly with large stones they had cut from the rocks and place them in front of their huts.

Did it have something to do with that? Then he was brave to do it. But she didn’t care about the valuable stones. She only wanted him.

He had told her that if he succeeded, he would return and build a great house on the island where they would live.

But for now, she watched the sun slowly sink into the sea each night.

Based on the true story of Irish-American captain David Dean O’Keefe who brought large rai stones (limestone discs) to the island of Yap in the late 19th century to trade with the natives for copra.

Mind if I sit here?

by leekierdorf

Mind if I sit here?

Yes.

Why?

You asked me if I minded if you sat there. I told you I did. Now, you ask me why. Does my reason have to be acceptable by you? Maybe I just heard of a death in my family.

There was a recent death in your family? I’m sorry to hear it.

No, I have a reason that I would rather not share with you. You know, if you just sat down there, I would have said nothing.

Really. You want me to move?

No, you don’t have to move.
So, you don’t mind.

Yes, I do mind because I didn’t want to talk to anyone.

So, that’s your reason.

No. Listen, just don’t talk to me anymore and it will fine.

Okay.

Silence.

How long do you plan to sit on this bench?

Now, you’re talking to me.

Yes.

Well, I don’t know. It’s a very nice bench. The sun is not too hot. I don’t see any other benches around.

Silence.

I sit here every day. At this time.

Sit as long as you like. I won’t bother you.

But I feel obligated to talk to you now that you’re here.

Don’t.

Now, who is being rude?

I’m just reading my book. What? Do you think I’m a spy or something? That I’m waiting for a drug deal? I’m just sitting here reading my book, lady.

Well, you don’t have to shout. Go ahead. Read your book. But you might be good company, you know.

Fine. I’m sorry I raised my voice. Thanks for letting me share your bench.

Silence.

It’s not MY bench.

I know.

Silence.

Do you think it will rain?

Now, that is a conversation starter, isn’t it? I thought you didn’t want to talk?

I didn’t bring an umbrella.

I can see that.

I usually do. Just in case.

Hm. That’s wise.

You never can tell this time of year.

I suppose not.

Silence.

You’re not much of a conversationalist, are you?

Actually, I’m a great conversationalist. You said you didn’t WANT to converse.

Silence.

Do you have any pets?

No.

I have two cats.

Two, you say?

Yes, they keep each other company. Bitsy and Rhubarb are great pals.

That’s nice.

Do you think those are strange names?

No.

Some people do.

Not me.

Silence.

What is the name of your book?

It’s called I’ve Read the Same Paragraph Seven Times.

Ah, you have a sense of humor.

Don’t we all?

I never try to be humorous. I do appreciate it though.

That’s nice. Lady, are you trying to make make me leave?

No, it’s fine. You reading your book. Me, just sitting here like I usually do.

Silence.
That cloud looks menacing.

Silence.

The birds know when it’s going to rain.

Do they? Maybe they read the weather report.

Ah, there’s that sense of humor again.

The weather report said nothing about rain.

They’re not always right.

No, and they never apologize if they are wrong about yesterday. They just go on predicting.

I suppose it’s not an exact science.

No, I guess not.

Silence.

I can see the title now. Atlas Shrugged. Is it good?

No, not really. It’s famous but it’s long and I’m giving it one more chapter. It’s not a page turner. Atlas hasn’t shown up, yet.

Maybe it’s a metaphor. Like Atlas is holding up the world and he shrugs for some reason.

Maybe he read this book. I’m ready to shrug about now.

Good thing you aren’t holding up the world, then.

Now, that is funny.

Really? How?

You took the metaphor and applied it to me. I’m really AM done with this book. My lunch hour is over, too.

Will you be back tomorrow?

Doctor Fury

by leekierdorf

“I need a new place to work.”

“What about the house on Bleak Hill?”

“It does have the right ambience.”

“It’s for sale. But they say it’s haunted.”

“Does that lower the price?”

“Yes, quite a bit.”

“I’ll need a loan.”

“The bank will want to know what you’re working on.”

“Oh, this and that.”

“Explosives? Viruses??”

“No, no, nothing like that. Transplants.”

“What kind?”

“All kinds. Human to animal. Animal to human. Human to human.”

“Animal to animal?”

“There’s no market for that.”

“We’ll call it “medical innovations.”

“Can we see the property?”

“No realtor will go there now. Too many bad experiences.”

“Like what?”

“Bats flying around – strange noises – ghosts in the hallways.”

“That’s nothing. The last place had all that and more.”

“Until you blew it up.”

“No more explosives, I said. I’m done with all that.”

“You know, your scars are starting to fade.”

“People like me have nine lives.”

“Well, you’ve used up six by my count.”

“Is there a road we can get a truck up? Or a hearse?”

“A hearse?”

“For transporting patients who need new parts.”

“Have you ever considered normal science?”

“That’s for wimps! I’m the cutting edge of science!”

“We’re banned from Florida. I think they passed a special law.”

“That was just bad wiring.”

“That’s not what the Fire Marshall said…”

“I work miracles! What about that saber-tooth tiger I resurrected?”

“They hunted it for three weeks.”

“But they never found out we did it.”

“We?”

“I consider you my trusted assistant, Igor.”

“Don’t call me that!”

“A nickname, that’s all.”

“Okay, I’ll get this typed up and run it by the bank”

“If they don’t come around, threaten their family.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Okay, tell them they might meet with an accident.”

“I’m sorry I broke you out of the asylum.”

“They didn’t understand.”

“They wanted to hang you. You were being evaluated for trial.”

“That’s all in the past …”

“Okay, we’ll talk next week.”

Alien 2

by leekierdorf

I heard Blyg was talking slap about me. Just because I adopted some of your jingo.

I was assigned to monitor your TV. I was in big trouble because I was not getting it.

There was network. There was cable. There was podcasts. There was streaming. There was CNN, NBC, CBS, FOX, MSNBC, and there was more. And more. It was 24/7. It was LIVE. It was Breaking News. It was weather. It was sports. It was news. It was real. It was fake.

I watched a weather channel. It was weather all day, all night, all over. There was a pregnant lady weatherperson. She blocked out your whole east coast when she turned sideways. Lady! Get off your feet and take a break.

The best part was about this Trump guy. He was a monster. He was going to be arrested. I kept waiting for this orange jumping suit. He was crazy. I kept waiting for this white coat with long sleeves. I was watching every night.

But now he’s gone. Story over.

We should run somebody from our mother ship for your president.

That’s right. Mother Ship! We got one. We’re hiding it. I can’t tell you where. But it’s there all right.

Well, I’m being reassigned to another planet. I haven’t checked it out yet. I’ll be in charge of monitoring Mars, as you call it. A whole planet!

Well, bye, Xthyg

Get Outlook for Android

Alien Speaks Up

by leekierdorf

I want to correct a few things. We are tall and thin. We tried projecting ourselves but it came out like we are shorter than you. We’re not. We come from a planet with less gravity, so we are thin and tall. Stately, even. Anyway, we don’t like your gravity and don’t like to walk around on your planet. The atmosphere dries out our skin, too. That’s why we stay in our ships.

We’re not supposed to contact you but, of course, some of us have to bend the rules. There was some kidnapping and probing but it was not authorized. Sorry. There were reprimands and demotions.

Yes, we can make ships that fly real fast but that’s about it for advanced technology. We can’t really share it with you because you don’t have the right materials on your planet to duplicate it. And you go fast enough, really.

We just observe. That’s all we are allowed to do. It’s pretty boring, really. You know what really got us going? Paper towels. We never thought of it! We have a statue of your Guy in the Flannel Shirt on our planet now. And Wet Wipes are standard issue now. Another gem. Chip clips. I could go on. We want to pay you back but we got nothing. Cures for diseases? We forgot them a long time ago. We had something like cancer but we got rid of it with DNA manipulation. That opened a sack of worms, let me inform you. Was it worth it? We got bones that can snap like a pencil now.

This is not an official communication. I just wanted to get a few things off my thorax.

Another thing, did you make English hard just to annoy us? I’m assigned to English language. Thanks a sockfull! It is an enormous headache. The spelling! I won’t go into that. And finish your dam sayings! We puzzled over: “you can lead a horse to water” forever until we found out there was more to it. I mean, what the dickens?

Whenever it gets on me, I think “paper towels, paper towels, paper towels”.

And we don’t like your food. Ever hear aliens stole our food! Won’t happen. Except for popping boba. And we can’t duplicate it either!

We brought back swearing and sarcasm to our planet. They asked us what good is it? It makes you feel good when you’re assigned to a stupid planet for a really long time said Xthyg. Oops, demotion time. Like I care, he retorted.

Well, I’m saying too much. A river in Derche,
Blyg